You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
