Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
