Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize