I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
