So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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