Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Farmville is her only friend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
