I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
