this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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