Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
