That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the raccoons are back...
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