So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
