she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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