she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
