If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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