yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
