garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
