She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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