My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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