Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize