the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
