You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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