I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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