I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
