talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
