i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
