I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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