I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
