Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
did i just pee glitter
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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