I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
