yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
