Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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