he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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