if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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