Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
