They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
