When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
