feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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