Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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