i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
