so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
