i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
