is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize