Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
