Sponge bath it is.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
