If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
