I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
