Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize