I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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