I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i dont even know how to be here
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
