She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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