They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
