Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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