i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
