Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
