Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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