Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
