i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
