So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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