Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
