I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
