I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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