Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
