that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She told me I should be a condom model.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
