bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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