do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
