I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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