Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We need to get me chipped asap
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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