It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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